Heal and Forgive

Well, it's a long dramatic story; briefly, DH got into a fight with sister Christmas 07 and hasn't seen or talked to her since. DH broke down when his mom started crying about the rift and invited sister to join us over this past weekend for our son's 5th B-day party.

So, it's been almost 3 years since she's been in our lives, but it was like she was always here! I'm so happy it's over and I'm truly hoping this will be a new beginning, for us all. This fight, escalated to his mom and she was cut out completely too, but from Dec 07 to July 09... I really struggle with his family sometimes, as it's very large, very dramatic, very loud, very demanding... they have alot of expectations that really grind on DH and I. We are very quiet, hate drama, some call us reclusive and/or antisocial. But we just like our cozy little life and we hate nothing more than when we are expected to be/do/attend/particapate in stuff that we normally wouldn't or that seems like an obligation. (We DO because we WANT to, not because we're obligated)

Despite all that, coupled with the fact that I don't have ANY family, I gently urged DH to forgive and forget - and finally he did. I have very mixed feelings. Happy because Auntie was very good to our son, he loved being with her and she was one of the closest people to me and was incredibly supportive/helpful to me when our son was born. Happy because our son truly loves Auntie and Cousin. Happy because we don't HAVE to miss events that we want to attend to avoid Auntie.

On the other hand, apprehensive because this has happened before, and history often repeats itself. Dreading the expectations of being 'back' in the family. Afraid people will STILL not accept OUR lifestyle and just let us be and trust we aren't being antisocial - we just don't want to XXX.
Just a vent I guess. Anybody ever healed a huge family rift and moved on happily? Suggestions on success?